The First Time I Backed Down: and why quitting is winning!
By Leigh Rust
As a parent, it’s easy to tell your children to not worry about losing and that it’s okay to say no or stop something if they really don’t want to do it. I tell my kids that all experiences are learning curves and it doesn’t matter if you win or lose; there is always something to learn.
To this day I have always lived by the motto “I don’t lose. I either win or learn”, except this time round… I’ll be honest with you, I didn’t see myself winning or learning. I only saw myself losing.
I often push myself to the limits to discover what I am capable of - whether that be physically or mentally but with this experience, I was destined to explore the art of surrender.
The Oxfam Trail was the first challenge I was unable to complete in my entire life and when I stopped, at first I felt like a massive failure - but upon deeper reflection, I discovered a whole new level of awareness.
In that deciding moment, to quit or keep going, my ego wanted me to grind but I knew I had to stop.
My impulsive streak didn’t do me any favours, and to top it off, luck definitely wasn’t on my side. I was unprepared (signing up with 3 weeks’ notice), I was unsupported, I had a fused head torch, and the list goes on…
Quite literally, everything was pushing me to stop: Would my ego let me give in to the pain?
Early on in the trail, I rolled my ankle and smashed my toe. I limped for a good 10km before seeing a medic and then another 15km before waving the white flag and finishing up in the night withdrawing myself at the 65km mark.
And in that moment, I didn’t see this as a learning curve. In my mind, I’d failed - It was a hard pill to swallow.
But in hindsight, I now appreciate the lessons learnt. I’ve realised that listening to my body and not my ego is actually winning and sometimes it’s more important to be gentle with yourself.
So here are some of my key takeaways about it being ok to quit
Commitment and intention are everything when it comes to succeeding
Listen to your body, it will thank you in the long run
Respecting your needs isn’t giving up
Be gentle on yourself (physically and mentally)
The inner voice is harsh - be kind to yourself
There is peace in waving the white flag and surrendering
Overall, this challenge has become an important lesson for myself and the way I parent my children.
I still will continue to stick by my motto and will always cheer my kids on to keep pushing and not give up. But, with the awareness now of knowing that sometimes you have to ignore that ‘ego’ of yours and do what you know is right for you - I also view quitting as a personal victory if it’s the healthier option!
For those thinking of participating in the Oxfam Trail, learn from my mistakes. Ensure you’re prepared with full intentions. Don’t half-arse it. And remember to look for the lesson in any failure.